“My concern for the level of pain would be greater if it weren’t for the fact most American women deserve to be raped because they oppose prostitution as an outlet for men. Since they deserve to be raped, I cannot concern myself with the pain rape causes them… Rape should be praised and is a healthy, hygienic measure of good society.”
I underestimated the uncomfortableness and hardship of Men Who Hate Women as I slowly turned the pages, psyching myself up to finish each chapter. Not because Laura’s writing is “hard” to read, but for the explicit content that illuminates the violent hatred for women that is out there. Of course, violence against women is not a new or even faded phenomenon, so I was not naïve to the notion that men, sometimes, do hate women. I am also aware that there are women who in turn have profound hatred towards men. But, what had me wishing I had opted for a cup of hot chocolate and an ITV drama, was the fact that this book is not the light-hearted book I had anticipated.
Instead, author and acclaimed English feminist Laura Bates delves into the darkest realms of the “manosphere”—websites that promote overt hatred towards women and languish in masculinity and misogyny. Under her alias, Alex, the author uncovers the shocking communities that represent pure misogyny, violence against women, and the systematic nature of sexism in order to raise awareness of the “silent” violence that occurs behind keyboards. In the book, the author notes that these online communities are not “tiny obscure internet cul-de-sacs, but flourishing and highly active communities”. She identifies the levels of extremism, which are not often spoken about, perpetrated by Men Who Hate Women, Men Who Prey on Women, Men Who Avoid Women, Men Who Hurt Women, Men Who Blame Women, and so on.
Much of the book focuses on the “manosphere” that occupies the online world. The author narrates each chapter through the radical extremist movements throughout the world and spends hours virtually surrounded by naïve boys and narrow-minded men in the realm of masculinity. In the book, Bates discusses her time spent in forums dedicated to the manosphere with some reference to the particularities seen on 4chan and Reddit where those in the manosphere thrive on each other’s misery of a “world run by women” and rile one another up with hearsay. These men crave lustre from their fellow women-hating companions. However, there is little else said about these particular forums, often referring to generic messages boards instead, and it is presumed by the reader (as it is not stated otherwise) that the author spends the majority of her time living life as Alex in order to expose the internet’s dark side and expose the men hating women.
The lack of interviews or personal conversations obtained throughout the book is a potential limitation. It seems the author refrains from much interaction in the online world. Instead, she sits back to visualise the misogyny that takes place. The book is thus premised on extensive research, with great reference to comments left upon the forums and knowledge gained through media coverage and some reference to specific, former Men Who Hate Women (who are idealised throughout the manosphere communities)—like Elliot Rodger—echoing the words from Rodger’s manifesto: “ I will slaughter every single, spoiled, stuck up, blonde slut I see inside there.”
In the forums Alex visits, the author observes the actions of incels, pick-up artists, men’s rights activists, and “Men Going Their Own Way,” all of which display rage and violent fantasies of rape and abuse. Despite this, the author seems immune to such despicable arrays of hate. Perhaps, receiving torrents of direct physical threats to herself and her family throughout her career has given her the realism that the rest of the world needs. This realism is necessary to acknowledge that the world is not moving in the right direction, away from misogyny, but into new realms where such behaviour is as prevalent and perhaps more terrifying than ever.
Indeed, it is clear that although the media often focuses on the physical violence against women perpetrated by partners, violence against women has grown and transcended to include violence exhibited online within these manosphere communities. The type of trolling and abuse formed within these communities speaks to “benign euphemisms of a darker reality,” which society fails to acknowledge appropriately but which Men Who Hate Women has clearly identified.
Bates is a prominent fixture to the feminist community known best for her “everyday sexism project”—a forum where women (and men) can share their experiences of sexism, [in]equality, and women’s rights in modern society. She is not afraid of the misogynistic threats that are thrown at her for exposing communities that are degrading and prevalent. Within her new book, Bates sets out to expose the “new” wave of misogyny in virtual realities and imposes herself into forums such as 4chan, which wish rape and death to them all. Bates states that the “bigotry and dehumanising posts flood in faster than you can read them”.
The book refrains from toning down typical posts encountered on Bates’ escapade into the manosphere:
“Laura Bates will be raped at 9 pm … I am serious.”
“You have a choice to have sex, I have a choice to rape you.”
“Women who dress provocatively are freaking begging to be raped.”
“It is a women’s reasonability to avoid rape because men are physically incapable of stopping during sex.”
The posts bring each reader to contemplate whether they are being transported back to the early 1900s—when women were seen merely as reproductive objects. One pick-up artist on the forum describes women as “all holes: ears to listen to me, a mouth to talk to me and a vagina to squeeze orgasms out of me”. Bates notes that “you do not have to imagine a world where women are raped, beaten, mutilated, abused or murdered, because of the simple fact they are women—you already live in it”. These men cultivate the narrative that some men (and I must stress, not all) deem it a women’s responsibility as a “subordinate” to submit to such fate—as it is a women’s job, of course, to avoid instances of violence (so the manosphere believes).
The most horrific realisation from Men Who Hate Women is the notion that even a shy, soft- spoken Ben, David, or Sam sitting two desks down from you in your office or serving you coffee at your local Starbucks every morning can be part of such cult-like ideologies. Or that a Robert—a middle-aged man, father of six, and a recruitment consultant—could also be a full-time member of the manosphere and be guilty of tweets that refer to dead children and mass deaths.
This exposé is a crucial read for both women and men who want to understand the far-right patriarchal ideologies deployed by the likes of Donald Trump and other political leaders and celebrities, as well as the men in your offices, supermarkets, and at your kids’ football games. The book allows us to begin to understand the danger of these communities as well as how the boys and men might become enchanted by this community, or cult, in which they feel they finally belong.
Through personal experience delving into the realms of darkness and interviews with former manosphere members, Men Who Hate Women holds substance to Bates’ feminist movement, adding human realities that are not often spoken about within the mainstream media. These stories of hostile violent behaviour aimed at women showcase how social media platforms have evoked a hostile environment for anger and hatred to grow. It is evident that the media, policies, and law all fail to protect women against such violence. “The deeply misogynistic beliefs that run through the movement[s], and their role in many of its foundational tenets, often go overlooked or underreported,” Bates writes. She makes it harrowingly clear that misogyny hasn’t gone, but rather transferred into other arenas, seeping through Twitter feeds and contributing to algorithms that push boys as young as 12 to submerge themselves into anti-feminism misogyny.
Overall, Men Who Hate Women makes an interesting if not exhausting read and whilst it may leave you feeling solemn in the realisation that many men do hate women, so much they believe rape should be legal at home, that father-daughter incest should be acceptable, and women should die because of their sex. Bates acknowledges that “not all men” are part of this manosphere, but there are men who hate women out there. So whilst it may be easy for the reader to get caught up in blaming all men for the abuse that over a third of women will face in their lifetime, Bates acknowledges that there is some humanity left in the world whereby men can also become—and are—part of the feminist movement.
Tamara Hume is an aspiring Human Rights Advocate and writer. She graduated from the Open University with a 2:1 in Criminology and Psychological studies. Currently, she is studying for an MA in Human Rights and Global Ethics at University of Leicester, with an interest in gender equality, racial discrimination focusing on racial profiling and mental health.
